Want to detox your body? Read below for the how to:

Have a liver and two kidneys.

Yes, this system provided by Mom, Inc. and designed by God, Allah, Darwin and Whatyoubelieve has a proven track record and well over 1,000 5-star Google reviews.

I joke around with this because it’s preposterous and arrogant to think that we have a better system than what has been granted to us by birth and scientifically proven to work. Food goes in, waste comes out and in between is the most fascinating and elegant system known in the world of natural sciences.

But, please, let Kylie Kardashian sell you detox tea. Or another Internet “influencer.”

A few years back I purchased this tea in the Spanish/Latin American section of my grocery story thinking, “I need an herbal tea in the morning to drink between coffee/breakfast and lunch that contains no caffeine.” What happened was intense GI pain and distress. Embarrassingly, it took me a few days to connect the dots. Now the tea is wrapped up and sequestered in my tea tin with a note to future Wendy that reads “Use in cases of extreme constipation ONLY!” This tea contains Cassia Acutifolia which is a powerful laxative. It’s the close cousin to Senna which we use in the hospital for patients with severe constipation.

Regular use of these herbal teas, which are marketed to us a “detoxifying” and “cleansing,” can be harmful over the long haul as they may make your gastrointestinal (GI) system become dependent on them . Recently, a young woman was featured on the Today Show who has chronic gastroparesis because of the teas. The emptying of her stomach is delayed because, for so long, the tea did the GI’s work and rendered it lazy.

We humans want a quick fix. But instead of trying to control what already works (GI, liver and kidney systems) let’s put maximum effort into what we can control which is what goes in the mouth. My message is not sexy or revolutionary and it won’t earn me one dime: Eat minimally processed foods that include fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, beans legumes, lean meats, seafood and some dairy if it agrees with you.

Get rid of the junk and let your elegant detox system take care of the rest.