In New Orleans during a rainstorm July 2012 at 140 pounds.
I have been writing this article for a while now and a memory sparked today that made me hit “publish.”
I realized that I haven’t thought about or complained about numbness in my legs, feet and fingers for a long time. And I wondered, “Is that due to the 30 pounds I lost?”
At 140 pounds on a small 5-foot, 3-inch frame, I often experienced numbness in my extremities. This would scare anyone but for me it seemed this was my inevitable end. Let me explain.
My mother was paralyzed from the waist down due to a tumor in her spinal cord. It was either the radiation treatment or the surgery for that tumor that put her in a wheelchair with a colostomy bag where she lived the final 24 years of her life.
I assumed and feared that it would happen to me, too.
Over the past few decades of I have experienced numbness and I am treated by a neurologist. MS, tumors and ALS have been ruled out and I always noticed bouts of numbness after periods of extreme stress. But after losing 30 pounds the numbness has all but disappeared.
In 2017 I felt middle-aged and invisible. My hip joints hurt on long walks. I dreaded getting dressed in the morning. I loathed bathing suit season and the numbness was always on my mind.
At Boyd Hill with my son in 2013 at 140 pounds.
Fed up and armed with science and nutrition knowledge from my training, I began to lose weight the right way by eliminating processed foods and eating a fiber-rich, plant majority diet. I dropped 10 pounds over 9 months. The weight came off slowly and properly, I tracked, weighed, journaled and it worked.
I know how to show clients the way.
My mom and me at Ft. DeSoto Thanksgiving 2016. My weight is 140 pounds. This was during a period of extreme numbness after completing clinical rotations and passing my national exam which was a very stressful time.
However, in early 2018, the thing I always feared happened: my mom fell very ill, was hospitalized for three months and died June 1, 2018. Due to her paralysis, she developed a stage 4 pressure ulcer at her coccyx with osteomyelitis. With her underlying diabetes, cardiac disease and constant pressure on the wound she succumbed to sepsis and died in Hospice care.
During her 3-month hospitalization and my divorce that same year, I stopped eating.
Some people are stress eaters and some are stress fasters. I am the latter and my weight dropped from 128 to 105 in 6 months. That’s too much, too fast, I acknowledge, and starvation is not the right way to lose weight. However, the question for me became maintenance.
I liked the new weight. I liked not wearing a bra. I liked feeling lighter. I liked daily and effortless bowel movements. I liked freedom from joint pain. I liked increased athletic endurance. And I just realized this week I like freedom from numbness.
Is the cessation of numbness due to weight loss and a better diet? I don’t know but carrying fewer pounds and eating more plants is the one constant variable from then to now. At 140 pounds I was numb. Now maintaining a weight somewhere between 110 and 113 there is no numbness.
When I gain weight the culprit is processed and restaurant foods. Full stop.
In Texas with my cousin. 140 pounds.
Single ingredient foods that are plant-majority are the keys to my weight maintenance. I don’t track calories or macros. I track type of food. I follow a ratio plan that follows a 90/10 or 85/15 formula. Ninety to 85 percent of the foods I eat are single ingredient plants, some dairy and some meat. Ten to 15 percent of my foods are what I call “party” foods.
“Party” foods include chips and dips at parties, cake at a wedding, dinner out with my boyfriend, cookies at Christmas, ice cream out with friends and an occasional pizza night with my son. I have found that this ratio-style pattern of eating (you see I didn’t call it a diet) allows me to maintain my weight.
I recently filed to run for elected office and campaigned and fundraised for 6 months. Stress, sleepless nights, job loss, self-doubt and financial insecurity ran my life. I also stopped eating, felt like shit and was diagnosed by my doctor with vitamin deficiency and malnutrition.
I quit the election and started eating with an “anything goes” mentality. I continued to eat my nutrient-dense foods but I began to bring junk food in the house. My son and I plowed through cookies and chips, frequent pizza nights and restaurant take-out food.
I quickly put on 10 pounds. I am now “up” and working through the exercise of eliminating junk food to bring my weight down 5 pounds. I can’t have junk in the house if I want to maintain my weight nor can I rely on prepared and restaurant food.
You may say, “5 pounds? That’s it? I need to lose 50.” Regardless of the quantity of weight you or I want to lose, the steps and mindset are the same. Cut the junk, don’t bring it in the house, increase the color, increase the fiber, eliminate added sugars, honor real hunger, connect emotion to mindless snacking, read labels, pay attention to portions. Blah, blah, blah.
My method for weight loss is not sexy, it’s not one-off, it’s not magic, it’s not pills, it’s not supplements, it’s not exercise.
It’s done with food you buy at the grocery store.
I work to help my patients and clients find their “whys” for weight loss and maintenance. I have heard “health,” “vanity,” “fashion,” “athletics,” “sex,” “travel,” “I don’t want to die of a heart attack like my mom did,” “I don’t want to but all new clothes,” “I am sick and tired of being sick and tired,” “vitality,” “mobility,” “I want a girlfriend.” The list is long and sometimes these “whys” are multiple and overlapping.
Your “why” will not drive your weight loss. Your “why” will drive your maintenance.
I realized this week that one of my “whys” is numbness and the constant beating drum of paralysis and life in a wheelchair.